Never Enough

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At fear that my brain would rot with any amount of free time, my parents enrolled me in all sorts of extracurriculars that ranged anywhere from piano to penmanship classes (seriously). Even after years of piano lessons and swim classes, I never wanted to compete. When pressed as to why, I would simply say I didn’t like competition and left it at that. At the time I was only half aware that that was not the whole truth.

It’s not that I wasn’t the competitive type—quite the opposite actually—but the mere idea of putting myself in a position to be judged by others (no matter how objective it was) was my worst nightmare.

Little did I know that the judgment I couldn’t face was my own.

In my perspective, competitions created the perfect opportunity to confirm the worst things I thought about myself. That I would never be good enough, smart enough or talented enough; that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be enough.

But what does it mean to be enough?

For who are we being enough for?

My constant desire to be “enough” sent me on a never-ending journey of attainment because no amount of anything would ever be able to convince me of something I already deemed untrue. Regardless of how much external validation I received, it would never ever be enough to fill the canyon-sized, lack of love I felt for myself.

If we never let ourselves believe who we are is enough, nothing will ever be able to convince us of something we have already labeled as false.

You were born with everything until the world told you what you lacked. Refuse to listen. Instead, tell yourself all the things you already are.

If we go looking for what makes us “enough” somewhere else, we will never arrive at our destination. So let’s take a trip inwards and find a home within ourselves, for you are more than enough just being who you are.