How to Re-Center When Everything is Going Wrong
1. Be patient with yourself
I put this one first because I think this is the most important thing to remember amidst all the chaos. I am definitely guilty of feeling frustrated about being frustrated, feeling sad about being sad, feeling angry about being angry, etc. Judging ourselves for not being able to control our emotions and/or our situations leave us feeling unproductive, unmotivated, and overall unhappy. Allow yourself to feel each emotion, not regarding one as good or bad. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you know and what you have.
2. Assumptions based on the past predict nothing about the future
We form assumptions based on our experiences in the past. These assumptions form our mindset for how we process information. Assumptions lead us to instantaneous conclusions, and this is where the trouble lies. Assuming you know how the story ends before you have had time to write the middle leaves you with an empty page. If you assume that since everything has been going wrong in your life thus far, the future will continue to be more of the same. But you have yet to live in the future, so how much could you really know?
3. Everything will work itself out because you are where you are now
I like to think of this as the long version of “Everything is Temporary.” While I know this saying is true, the way that my mind works requires a bit more of an explanation so I interpreted “Everything is Temporary” to everything will work itself out because I am where I am today. Basically meaning that I would not be where I am now if things in the past remained unsolvable, incurable, and stagnant.
4. Take pleasure in the small things
It’s the big things in our lives that get the most recognition or are retained the most in our memories in the long run, but what about the small things? The small things go unnoticed, but are one of the most consistent things in our lives, which means that every day we have hundreds of opportunities to be grateful, find happiness, and feel content in the present moment. And when everything seems to be going wrong with the big stuff, we could use some of that small stuff to bring us back to a place of peace. Some of my small things are the feeling of my sheets against my feet in the morning, the morning stretch when I first wake up, the smell of coffee and bread to get me started—anything and everything around you is an opportunity to find gratitude and happiness.
5. Let go of your desire of control
When everything is going wrong around us, we have a tendency to blame those situations upon ourselves. We take partial, if not all, responsibility for these events as if we have control over these factors. But we don’t. Allow yourself to let go of the clad iron grasp of desire you have to control the future, your present, and yourself. Everything that will be, will be. This will happen regardless if you spend time trying to plan for the worst or the best. It is not your fault for whatever has, has not, or will happen. Nor is it your responsibility. Your only responsibility is to be in the present moment and to allow yourself to let go.